Better Know A Classmate: Brad

I got to thinking, "Hey, what's up with Brad? And what's up with this blog?" So I got in touch with Brad and applied a new template to 97kix, and now IT'S ALL HAPPENING.

As is fitting for an interview with one of my few friends who owned a pager in the mid-nineties, we talked about technology. Other topics broached include Towne West Square and the always sexy John Mayer.

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At K-State, you lived in a two-person dorm room with both Pat and Simmons. Tell a story about those crowded conditions.

There was lots of weird going on in that room. I do remember the foreign kid Alf pissed his pants one night in there drunk off Johnny Walker. My favorite memory though has to be one night we decided to sneak a keg into the room. We patiently waited until the dorm floor checks were done and I believe Mike tried to run up 4 flights of stairs with a full keg but got tired after two. You could hear a loud “PING” as the keg hit every step until Mike, now exhausted, got to our floor where he rolled the keg down the hall and into our room. Once the door closed you could hear loud cheering. I believe we used the tap that some elderly gentleman we met on the newly invented “internet machine” mailed us. Those were weird, weird times. We had blue Astroturf too. So that was awesome.

I lost track of you around Y2K. What did I miss?

Let’s see. Y2K. Well, I lived with Matt Dicks for awhile off of Douglas and Martinson. We once had to call the landlord because there was shit coming out of the shower head and filling up the bathtub. Man, that shit was crazy. I bought a small one bedroom house off of 1st and Meridian where I lived for 4 years. I once let a homeless guy sleep in my garage. You know for good karma and stuff. I've been at the same job since 2001. I got this job because it was close to my grandmother’s house and I liked having lunch with her. I moved out to 119th and Rolling Hills in 2004 where I've been ever since. I will occasionally create custom Christmas cards for people, but I don’t really draw anymore, but when I do it takes a lot out of me. I prefer writing. I have a blog that I rarely allow access to. I’d like to publish a book. I also religiously watch “Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s” and I’m not ashamed of it.

Brad watches this garbage.

It's interesting that you mention your relatively private blog. I consider you one of my more prolific Facebook friends, posting status updates and photos of delicious grilled foods quite often. What do you think about social media and sharing in the digital age? What makes you decide to write something privately versus publicly?

Great question. A lot of people don’t really believe me when I tell them that I am an extremely private person. I use social media like Facebook strictly as one of my many writing tools. I try to keep stuff on Facebook humorous and fun whereas my blog is a straight up diary on my day to day life. It’s more emotional. It’s more me. It’s a funny thing this “living on the internet” and I’m not sure if it’s a necessary evil or not. If I ever get married I plan on deleting Facebook because that part of my life isn't for sale. I don’t want to share that part of my life with the internet. I decided to start writing privately to share with an audience that didn't know me. I wanted to try to reach people across the world and share my experiences with them just hoping they could relate to my words. I do this very well. A private person who loves an audience? It’s an easier thing to do when people don’t really know you. 

I found that my Facebook updates became much less frequent after I got married. Or maybe it's just getting older. "Went to work today. Came home, made some dinner, watched Franklin and Bash, went to bed." No one wants to read that, right? It was more interesting back in the days where you'd post, "Got really wasted on absinthe and met a bunch of hilarious Germans who showed me the weirdest porno." or whatever.

You’d be surprised at what people want to read. Plus, who doesn't love Franklin and Bash? Hello! I’m always a little surprised at who is really reading my Facebook updates and I get some pretty interesting and lovely messages from people I’d never expect. However, I completely understand where you are coming from. The challenge I get with using Facebook is too never try and force anything. I almost think those assholes should be paying me. I’m totally jealous of weird german porn though, that’s a life experience my friend.

How do you feel about these kids today with their Twitter and Snapchat and sexting?

I also have a Twitter account, and while I don’t tweet much I find twitter to be a fascinating tool. If you ever want to know anything about anything in real time then just hashtag that mug on Twitter. I don’t get the SnapChat thing, well to be honest, I just now got a computer back in my house. I didn’t have one for 7 years or so. I only use the internet at work, and I use my phone for everything at home, but the more I write I’ve learned that I probably need to have a computer. It’s still in the box by the way, I don’t know how to hook up that thing. And sexting is just plain stupid. Damn kids and their rock n roll. Did you know that “SMH” means shaking my head? Someone recently explained this to me and it nearly blew my mind.

If sexting was around when we were in high school, how many sexts do you think you'd have seen passed around by poor decision makers?

Oh Jesus I can only imagine. They would be sending dick pics galore.

You being a huge Cubs fan, you should follow @BestFansStLouis. They retweet Cardinals' fans self-congratulatory comments about being the best fans in baseball, and also pathetic, ad hoc, often bigoted attacks they tweet about their own players.

I will follow them. One of my associates is a huge Cardinals fan. That’s why I hired him. We don’t speak during the Cubs-Cards series. It doesn’t matter if the Cards win the series as long the Cubs win one game I’ll talk shit for months.

Wrigley Field, home of the terrible, terrible Cubs.

Your company's stated mission "is to be the nation's best floor covering distributor". Is that also your personal mission? 

My personal mission was to make this company successful, which I believe I have done. I have a unique business model that works based solely on customer service. I’m feared and respected in this industry. When I was a younger man my personal mission was to sleep with a lot of designers. I like artsy chics, Dan. We better move on.

Please describe an average workday in horrifically mundane detail.

A normal workday? What the hell are those? I recently revamped my entire staff here so I rarely have normal days. Currently I’m spending a lot of time on all the JC Penney remodels going on nationwide. I also work closely with contractors doing school projects. You know those cool school gym logos you see on basketball courts? Yeah, a ton of those pass by my desk for approval before being sent out to have water-jet cut. I usually know what’s about to be built in Wichita years before we see them go up which I find interesting. You ever been in a Ross Dress for Less or a Dillon’s grocery store. You've been in at least one of those. Odds are I've ordered that floor you’re walking on. I love numbers. I love math. I do a lot of talking. I do a lot of emailing. I work a lot. I work long hours. I love taking trips and seeing how our products are made. I like meeting new designers from all over the United States. There are some days I take over 200 calls and answer at least 100 emails. I stay pretty busy. I am constantly seeking a challenge. What I dislike the most is listening to my co-workers bitch and trust me, I hear it. All day.

You seem to non-ironically cherish John Mayer. Is it the sexy, smooth metaphors in his lyrics? The O-face he makes when he shreds his guitar? What is a great Mayer deep track that everyone should hear?

My love of Mayer. You can blame Matt Dicks for this one. He took me to see Maroon 5 before they got big and Mayer was the headlining act. I bitched the whole way up to Kansas City. I thought Maroon 5 sucked so I wasn't looking forward to seeing Mayer. The dude came out and it was like a spiritual awakening for me. Funny story. At that concert there was this group of people who I think might have been in a cult sitting in front of us. As Mayer started playing a young couple started making out right in front of me. The chic must have been wasted because I’m pretty sure she gave me an over the shorts handsy while making out with that dude. Wild stuff. It’s my personal belief that he is the greatest guitar player of our generation. He does make some pretty ridiculous O-faces though. I relate a lot to John and his music. His albums usually mirror where I’m at in my own personal life. Whenever I introduce someone to Mayer I usually start with “In Your Atmosphere” followed with “Comfortable” and then tell them to just sit down and listen to the entire “Continuum” album.

John Mayer, lookin' sexy

Have you ever passed off a Mayer lyric as your own to impress and/or seduce a lady?

No. I said something to a lady the other day that I really liked. I handle her account so she’s known me for a few years now. She asked if I had been dating or had been looking and I replied. “You know I’ve honestly quit looking. I’d like to believe that she’s out there looking for me, that she wants to find me as bad as I want to be found.” I’ve never used one of his lyrics to pass off as my own. However, it is pretty common knowledge that if you are female and we are entangled in a private relationship of some kind that the first present I give is his “Continuum” album.

The Target that employed you during high school has been closed for years. Any thoughts on that, or the Towne West Square area in general?

I had some good times at that Target in high school. Hard to believe that was nearly 20 years ago. I hate the Towne West area. I have seen several remodel plans get flushed for years now. I was just in Towne West a week ago looking over some problems with the before mentioned JC Penney remodel. I hate that place. There is no amount of money that could be spent to do anything with it. I've been saying for years that it needs to be torn down and rebuilt. Plus I heard the closed the Orange Julius. I was livid. I avoid that area. Dan, to be honest, I rarely venture past Tyler. I like my little west side bubble.

What is your favorite word?

shaft

What is your least favorite word?

loss

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Music has always been something to spark my imagination. Good songwriting mixed with a perfect score always gets my brain moving. Whenever I walk my dog down 119th and the surrounding neighborhoods I am always sparked by nature also. I believe that the very space around you can also be inspiring. I've mentioned I write a lot. I like to keep a notebook in my car and there are several around my house that I keep because the smallest thing can inspire me to start writing. Kate Upton also spiritually turns me on…oh, and Canadian women. I love Canadians.

Elisha Cuthbert and ...Rachel McAdams, I think? And some other ladies?

What turns you off?

Negativity of any kind turns me off. Closed minded people turn me off. Oh, and Fox News turns me off. Talk about a mood killer.

What is your favorite curse word?

fuckbag

What sound or noise do you love?

I love the sound of rain falling. I’ll often sit outside in my garage in a lawn chair if I know a storm is coming and make the dog and I a cocktail and just close my eyes and listen. It is a perfect sound. I find it relaxing.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I still wish to be a writer. I love words. I have a project that I've been working on for quite some time, but it’s going to need some re-writes and some name changes or I’m going to get sued, sued, and then sued some more. I write about every aspect of my life. I’ll probably write about this very moment later and you’ll probably sue me for it so I’ll change your name to Jenkins. Screenplay writing also fascinates me, Jenkins.

Richard Jenkins, acting stud

What profession would you NOT like to attempt?

An assembly line worker at a dildo factory.

What was your favorite class at BC?

This is a tough one. I was very fond of Foods class because Farrah Gillespie let me carry her books and I loved her green sweater. I really enjoyed taking Spanish with Senorita Roberts, but to be honest my 2nd hour English I class with Miss Barton our freshman year was my absolute favorite. There’s a terrific story behind the first day in that class I rarely, if ever, discuss.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

This is such a hard question to answer. Probably not. Those 4 years at Carroll were a unique experience that I’m glad I got to have with all of you. I mean we even got on the radio that night of your wild party, which I hear is still whispered about as nothing short of legend. I had some real life-changing moments in that place. I’m glad I had the opportunity, but I would not wish to do it again.

How do you feel about getting older, fellow thirtysomething? 

You know if anything I've learned that you have to take care of yourself. I don’t eat fast food anymore. I quit all my bad vices. I’m re-training my body how to run for distance again. Do I still love my Tito’s Vodka? You bet. Now I just drink it with organic lemonades or pineapple juice instead of Red Bull. I’m more aware of the world around me, but I think you have to be. I’m more focused in my 30’s then I was in my 20’s. I know more about myself, what I’m capable of, and where I realistically want to be in life now then I ever did before. I like getting older. I mean it’s more of a challenge, plus I keep like a fine wine and keep getting better and better with age. I personally like to think that you can accomplish anything once you know exactly who you are, and getting to that point is sometimes not easy. Getting older doesn't scare me per se. I get more worried about my dog getting older then I do me. Now getting old and being alone…that scares me.