Better Know A Classmate: Phil G

Welcome to another installment of my time-wasting series, "Better Know a Classmate". This interview was conducted differently than the previous ones - Phil and I communicated via instant messenger instead of email... with hilarious results!

If you would like participate in this feature, please drop me a line via email or leave a note in the comments.

And now, come on Phil the noise!

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dn: let's get it started in here!

phil: giddyup

dn: What's up?

phil: not much...stuff

dn: You're currently located in Dallas. What's the best thing about Dallas?

phil: it never really gets cold in the winter. Sure, there are a couple of days here and there but nothing like Kansas...or Ohio for that matter

dn: You lived in Columbus before moving to Dallas. Near the headquarters of Wendy's.

phil: Very near.

dn: What's the best thing about Wendy's?

phil: Everyone thinks it's the Frosty's or that Dollar Menu thing but it's truly the Spicy Chicken sandwich...hands down.
phil: or Biggie something...

dn: Even when they put too much mayo on the Spicy Chicken? Or when the lettuce leaf is all big and hard and gross?

phil: Well to be honest, I only get it with cheese. No lettuce, mayo or tomato....maybe I'm not the best to judge.

dn: I see. You were one of the few non-Catholics in our class. Why did you even go to Carroll? Why were you even born? What was it like being behind enemy lines for those 4 years?

phil: Well my other choice was East High...I was also one of the only east side kids too. Anyway, I think my parents weren't too thrilled with East High and I had some friends going to Carroll [namely George, of The Killers fame] so I went to Carroll.
phil: No, it was not like being behind enemy lines...I think I was the only person that was actually interested in the religion classes...because it was all new to me.

dn: Were there any special expectations of non-Catholic students?

phil: You have to pay double
phil: more than college
phil: it's why I have student loans
phil: and a Bishop Carroll tie

dn: None of this explains why you were born, though. Answer my questions, jerk.

phil: Dan, I guess I've never really taken the time to think about my own existence before. Seems kinda pointless. I was born for the same reasons people like Michael Jordan, Ghandi and Walt Disney were born...greatness and animation

dn: Fair enough.

phil: p.s. I don't really animate

dn: Let's talk high school.

phil: I'm down, shoot.

dn: You and I were on the Freshman Basketball team together. Once, before a game, you begged me to switch socks with you, because you were wearing "Quitters", i.e. socks with failed elastic. Do you recall that day?

phil: very much so
phil: at Kapaun

dn: Do you remember trying to dunk in that game?

phil: even more so.

dn: Take us through it.

phil: Two on one fast break, the balls come back to me and the play clearly should end with a layup. However, I felt something special that day. Perhaps it was the adrenaline of playing a cross-town rival...maybe it was the socks...but I felt as if I could dunk it easily. Two hands. However, soon after leaving the ground it was obvious I could not, and would not be dunking that day. I was roughly 18 inches short....and then called for a charge. And then pulled from the game. Then you got to play right?

dn: Right. I was put in the game so Coach Robinson could yell at you. I promptly took the rock at the free throw line and nailed a jumper. I was then promptly taken out of the game.

phil: Seems fair

dn: I also started in your place, later in the year. Take us through it.

phil: Well, practice was at 5:00 am. Coach Robinson picked me up everyday at 4:30 am. One day he didn't show. I had to wake my mom up to take me to practice. I was 15 minutes late. If you're late you can't start...that was the coach's decision. Ironically it was also his mistake

dn: You always picked up a muffin in the morning with him, right? A cheese muffin?

phil: that's right cheese muffin
phil: well techincally my mom bought the muffins the night before

dn: I see. Interesting.
dn: Well, moving on

phil: Shall we?

dn: Yes. Now.
dn: You and I first became good friends on the Governor's Council For Teen Leadership retreat in Ark City. What do you remember about those few days?
dn: Lots of Leadership values, I'll bet...

phil: Yes, leadership.
phil: I remember the cabins vaguely and I can remember there were very specific times when the girls and guys could mingle. I can also remember trying to circumvent those rules...probably using leadership skills I had acquired the day before.

dn: Do you remember the girl's name?

phil: Megan Carlini
phil: she went to Kapaun
phil: and enjoyed puzzles

dn: That sounds nice. Do you remember the other girl? From Derby, I think?

phil: No, I can't think of her name but I do remember when she won some big scholarship to WSU and it was in the paper. Does that count?

dn: That does count, yes.

phil: score

dn: And I remember her for her perfectly round breasts, which I never touched, or even thought about in an inappropriate manner

phil: neither did i
phil: ever
phil: I also remember that Alexis bailed on the trip because of the "flu" about 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave

dn: How often do you watch the videotape from Project Graduation?

phil: I don't know if I've ever seen it post 1998
phil: I wish I had a copy...it would be like that picture of John Lennon on stage the day he met Paul McCartney, historic I believe is the word
phil: or hysterical
phil: or hysteria...the Def Leppard album

John Lennon and The Quarrymen perform that fateful day

dn: Oh can you feel it? Do you believe it? Hysteria! What can you tell me about our Senior trip to Cancun?

phil: It's really amazing that we were able to go at all when I think about it.
phil: Without out any real supervision we someone all managed to make it back...who was in charge?

dn: me

phil: oh yeah

dn: I was kind of like Moses in those days

phil: funny that a trip to cancun resulted in no problems but a website about the same class has caused so many

dn: That's a fair point.

phil: it is. It is fair indeed

dn: You were roommates with Pete H your freshman year at K-State. How did that change the course of your life?

phil: It was truly an experience.
phil: Pete is a very...passionate guy, some would say loud.

dn: His passion/loudness is unrivaled.

phil: By anyone
phil: of any age

dn: or creed

phil: race and gener
phil: gender

dn: We sure had some wild times in college, you and I. For example, you once made my girlfriend cry, because you insulted a Kapaun dude that now does the local sports report for a Wichita TV station.

phil: really, who? what station
phil: you had a girlfriend?

dn: kwch

phil: i can't imagine me reducing anyone to tears
phil: Jeers, yes. Tears, no.

dn: My point is that you made her cry, and then she ran off. Then I got mad at you, and you said, "You're mad now, but you'll think this is funny after a while." And you were right.

phil: See. pure genius. There are very few occasion where I'm not right....eventually.
phil: Just like when I thought...GPA is not important...no one is ever going to check that....I'll just cruise thru with my solid 3.1. My parents didn't see the genius...but it's funny now, right?

dn: what was the name of our radio show in college?

phil: The Phil and Dan Show

dn: Why did you get top billing?

phil: I got top billing because It sounded better. Just try it the other way...it's garbage

Phil on the radio, wearing "cans". Not pictured: Dan. Lousy Collegian. Click to enlarge.

dn: Correct. How did you prepare for each show?

phil: By showing up
phil: on time

dn: Would you say that you were dead weight?

phil: No. We've all seen what happens when you are left with all the creative control. It's too edgy, you need me to bring you back to earth...much like a weight would do. A weight that was very much alive.

dn: Remember the girl that fired us? How much dead weight would you say she was carrying around?

phil: We'll = we've
phil: 50 ilbs

An article about a show we did after "The Phil and Dan Show" was cancelled by a fat girl.

dn: do we need to get you one of those keyboards for fat people with fat fingers?

phil: what are you saying?

dn: Nothing.

phil: that i'm fat

dn: No
dn: Of course not

phil: good
phil: because i'm not
phil: not even close
phil: i'm wafer thin

dn: You're like Santa.
dn: Loveable fat
dn: Obese, I mean.

phil: right
phil: next question

dn: Moving on, I'm attracted to your fiancée. What do you think about that?

phil: that's odd. I don't think she likes you
phil: no wait, she likes you but you creep her out

dn: You've claimed that you and your fiancée are responsible for Pat M meeting his wife.

phil: directly responsible
phil: as in introduced them and said, "Hey you're both tall...can't you make this work?"

dn: That's why they call you "The Magic Man"

phil: that and I'm a practicing magician

dn: Why are you getting married in Cape Cod?

phil: because it seemed like a cool thing to do.
phil: Just our families, in one big, Kennedy Compound-esque house.

dn: that's funny - I don't think it's cool at all

phil: this is why she thinks you're creepy

dn: and why I'm not invited

phil: not even aunts and uncles are invited to the ceremony
phil: you are invited to the reception though

dn: I'm going to burn that place down

phil: good luc
phil: k
phil: it's made of fire proof stone

dn: Nuts
dn: Let's move through this section next
dn: What is your favorite word?

phil: madferit

dn: never heard of it

phil: maybe it's not a good one for this...it's oasis talk. Mad For It...said like Liam

Oasis' Liam Gallagher, who talks funny.

phil: how about, peg leg

dn: those are more like phrases
dn: James Lipton never has this problem

phil: ok, beatles

dn: great
dn: next
dn: What is your least favorite word?

phil: sewer

dn: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

phil: give me a second

phil: music

dn: What turns you off?

phil: art nerds

dn: All art, or just paintings and stuff?

phil: no, but I'm probably the only person at work that does not have a design related degree. However, it bothers me when people like something because it was designed well but still looks terrible. Their meaning of designed well is related to "rules" of design. To me, it either looks good or it doesn't.

dn: What is your favorite curse word?

phil: shit

dn: What sound or noise do you love?

phil: distorted guitars

dn: What sound or noise do you hate?

phil: those bug zappers

dn: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

phil: None
phil: The rest sound like work

dn: That makes this one a little harder: What profession would you not like to do?
dn: maybe just pick the worst
dn: that you can think of

phil: Clown

dn: While we're on the subject, please describe an average workday in horrifically mundane detail.

phil: I get up ride to work with Casey, get there about 8:30. I generally look at random stuff online until about 9:00. Then we either have a ton of stuff to do or absolutely nothing...and I do mean nothing. A while ago we had nothing scheduled for two weeks. So, in that time I sit around and try to think of cool ways to present some type of "Fossil Brand Experience" online that uses cool video stuff. Last week I was on a catalog shoot in a remote section of Northern California on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
phil: I generally go home about 6:00.
phil: On a normal day I author DVDs, edit movies, etc.

dn: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

phil: hold on one second
phil: I had Casey read the question...she said "This is why I can't have conversations with Dan."
phil: Her other suggestion was, "How's Dan?"

dn: It's not me! It's James Lipton!

phil: well played...she likes you again
phil: maybe I would like to hear him say good job

dn: Just to clarify, you don't really want God to say, "Hold on one second," right?

phil: unless it was to upgrade me to first class

dn: This was actually a trick question
dn: Because you're not Catholic, you won't get to Heaven

phil: fair play

dn: What was your favorite class at BC?

phil: History with Mr. Finkeldei.

dn: expound on that

phil: all of my friends were in the class, he was only like 22 or something. He let me write a paper on the Beatles
phil: I have to go to bed soon

dn: (whip sound effect)
dn: Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

phil: Based on my current knowledge and watching Laguna Beach...I would have grown a beard as a direct affront to the Carroll administration.
phil: girls would've loved it.
phil: well, maybe not...no one likes beards

dn: I can't think of any response to that.

phil: exactly...this is why my name was first on the radio show

dn: Since you are a musical fellow, why don't you tell us what you're listening to these days.
dn: Your recommendations

phil: Arctic Monkeys
phil: The Stokes
phil: The Killers
phil: Stereophonics
phil: TV On The Radio
phil: Rubyhorse
phil: Oasis

dn: What are you reading these days?

phil: I don't really read
phil: books
phil: Although I recently read a history of the manned space program at NASA

dn: Why are we friends?

phil: I thought that was just something that happened 10 years ago

phil signed off at 10:45:51 PM.