Best Know A Classmate: Millie

Millie is 97 Kix's first ever repeat interviewee. In the first installment, conducted in 2006, she told us about her newly potty-trained child, her physics teacher husband, and the Masters in English she was seeking. Things have changed!

Millie! You moved to Oklahoma City, so the next time I visit Wichita, we will not share a few hours together over scones and tea.There is not a frowny-face emoticon sad enough to adequately represent my feelings! Tell us why you’re in Baptist country.

Chuck, my husband, decided to stop teaching and start a second career in Medical Physics. In May 2013, he graduated with a Masters. He has a two year residency here at OU-HSC, and then he needs to find a job, preferably in Wichita.

And if you time your visit for when I’m visiting, I’ll hook you up at the homestead.

Let’s go back in time a bit - you had a son, Charlie,  and that boy is now how old?

Charlie will be 11 in December. He’s in fifth grade now.

He has started conversations with me about superbugs and quarks. What topics are his current favorites?

Just this evening, we discussed the difference between stitching up and surgery, general vs. local anesthetic, the superiority of electric cars (cars are a big thing right now), and Star Trek.

What kind of Star Trek is his favorite? The original series? The next generation? The new movies featuring the dreamy Chris Pine?

Unfortunately it’s original. I hate William Shatner. It came about because MeTV was showing one episode a week on Saturday nights, and it was good bonding for Charlie and I. I just meant to get him hooked and quickly transition to next generation, but we are stuck until we’ve seen all the episodes of original. We’re about ⅔ done.

Why do you hate Bill Shatner? His strange vocal choices? Overacting? ALIEN WOMANIZING?? Did you know that he and the black communications lady, Uhura, shared the first televised interracial kiss? Maybe that’s a fun fact you can use to teach Charlie about racism.

I’d say the odd vocalization and then the lack of acting ability. It bothers me less than when we started this trek through Star Trek. I do remember about the kiss; Charlie tends to not notice things like that, so in a couple years I’ll tell him.

Kirk loves the ladies

I guess we should mention that your husband went to school in OKC for two years while you and your son were still in Wichita. That had to be a super bonkers situation.

We needed health insurance, and I needed to work full time to support Chuck’s school habit. The best place for me to do that was Wichita; we saw each other about once a month, although when he was writing the thesis it was more like once ever six weeks. Skype helped. We had to create our own normal for Chuck being gone, and then we had to re-adapt when we lived in the same place again. Cheryl (Arensdorf) Rundle just joked this weekend that she sees me more now that I’ve moved to OKC; I reminded her that I’m not having to work full time and be a functional single parent. :)

Your husband has chided you on Facebook for not wanting to watch the original Robocop movie. Why will you listen to Rush, a terrible, terrible band that your husband likes, but you won’t watch Robocop, a legitimately good movie that he likes?

This is actually the last question to answer, because I’m having a hard time giving a good one. I really like Rush now. Their drummer is amazing, and I have listened to the drum solo at the beginning of “One Little Victory” at least 10 times in a row sometimes. I acknowledge the “weirdness” of Geddy Lee’s voice. I appreciate that they don’t sing about love all the time, since I’m pretty unromantic.

As far as Robocop--I saw 5 minutes. Someone cursed at least every other line. It was wooden and predictable. Why would I watch more?

"RoboCop is a thriller with a difference." -- Roger Ebert, winner of the Pulitzer Prize for criticism

So the other huge event that happened since your last interview involves your husband and the urinary system. Can you explain what happened to him and your family during that ordeal? (And what continues to happen, I suppose?)

I started a really long answer, but I’m going to shorten it up. In May 2009, we found out that my husband’s kidneys were pretty much destroyed by IgA nephropathy, also known as Berger’s disease. Basically his filters were scarred over, and had developed that way over time. He spent 3 months in dialysis and received a kidney from his sister August 25, 2009. Since then, he takes lots of drugs, drinks lots of water, and puts up with lots of nagging. He’s had several biopsies of the good kidney to ensure its functionality and gets lots of blood tests. He’s only had three trips to the hospital, which is pretty much where he has to go if he gets sick. To keep the “foreign” kidney in his body, he takes immunosuppressants, and then takes lots of drugs to counteract the effects of the immunosuppresants.

So that’s us; he ideally will have this kidney for 30 years before we have do decide what to do next.

It seems weird that you can biopsy a kidney over and over again, no problemo, but then it gives out in 30 years? Where do you think kidney science will be by then? Are you thinking mechanical kidneys, or healing nanobots?

I think it’s that the fight of keeping the immune system suppressed but letting there be enough immune system that the body can deal with a cold and such eventually wears out the kidney? Also, the original disease is autoimmune which also makes the balancing act fun. We would love that you could culture your own kidney--I think that’s the only way around the immune system problem, which mechanical would not do. Nanobots would be pretty cool too, though.

Do you want to talk about health insurance? That’s a pretty timely topic you have a lot of experience with.

Health insurance works great when you’re healthy. When something happens, you discover the problems of the system. I have spent, and continue to spend, a lot of time dealing with health insurance.

Here’s what I like:

Medicare was there to fill in gaps in our personal health insurance to make sure dialysis and the transplant were covered for up to 3 years after the transplant. Once I could reach reasonable people, we were always able to get things covered and bills straightened out.

What I don’t like:

People who don’t do their jobs right and bill us for three blood tests under three separate accounts for the same person, not using the insurance info I’ve provided again and again and again. I now carry copies of every insurance we’ve used in the last 4 years because I have to.

Just this week, we found out that our current insurance company has a pre-existing condition exclusion window of 6 months that they mention NOWHERE in their literature or website but only bring up when you try to get services covered. We can void it with a certificate of continuous coverage, but I didn’t know I needed that until now.

Idiocy in policies. For instance, one insurance policy had a cap on what they would pay post-transplant, INCLUDING the drugs that keep the transplant successful. If they stop paying for those drugs ($2,000 per month), he loses the kidney and we go back to dialysis, which they would cover fully, even though it costs 2,000 per treatment at 3 treatments a week. Idiocy.

I’ll stop now.

Will you tell the story about the kid in your class who was talking s*** about Medicare?

Oh, I taught low income children; when we were discussing Obamacare and such, he was explaining to us how the only people on Medicare were poor, lazy, fat people who needed to get a job. I said, “Wait, I’m on Medicare to help with my husband’s costs…” the room got very silent. It was a great teaching moment.

How old was this kid who had such strong feelings about Medicare? My wife taught a third-grader last year that was in love with Mitt Romney and became visibly upset when the president was mentioned. Any parent who talks politics enough around their little kid to make that kind of influence must be unbearable.

It was a sixth grader. But we had kindergartners in tears after Obama was elected because they had been told at home that Obama was Satan. They were truly scared.

Hot?

And I believe you said that your brother was trying to reconcile his staunch Libertarian beliefs with your healthcare situation?

Actually, a brother and brother-in-law struggle with that. I had a different brother just use our situation as an example with the class--it’s all good to say that we should take care of these things locally and not rely on the government, but then when local resources aren't there, what is one to do? Let a 32-year-old die because the insurance doesn’t want to pay for immunosuppressants?

How many years have you paid your out-of-pocket health insurance maximum? Because if you’re like me, you thought, “Oh, I’ll have one bad year here, but I’ll be back to paying a normal amount next year…”

Since the transplant (4 years), we meet the maximum for Chuck, but not for the family. And of course copays and such don’t count toward that total… We were never even close before that. Now I just assume we will every year, so I put the money aside. Part of the problem is having to get blood drawn at the hospital so they can check the tacrolimus level; this costs 10x as much as getting a doctor to draw and analyze the blood. Unfortunately, when we tried the doctor route, we didn’t get the blood results for three months and then found out he was at toxic levels...so we go the hospital route.

I am grateful,in a way, for the whole kidney thing--I’m much more knowledgeable about health insurance (so you’re welcome), and I think it also made me a more definite or a harder person. I worry much less about silly things, because instead I can worry about blood levels and preexisting conditions.

I don’t know how to properly wrap-up this kidney dialogue, so I will just say that I’m glad things are at least routine now, and you (presumably) aren't losing sleep over this anymore. And I want to issue a very public thank you to Chuck and yourself for going through your health scare before I did, so that you could provide me with great advice and support.

Now on to the meaningless questions! What is your favorite word?

I think a word that I've started using a lot is “quite.” I blame it on Doctor Who.

What is your least favorite word?

I’m not fond of cursing--I think there are so many other words out there to express deep emotion that do so better.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

I love reading George Weigel’s biography of John Paul II; I reread it every couple of years. I love teaching, particularly teaching middle school to underprivileged children. I love baking and cooking.

What turns you off?

Blanket or harsh criticism. I tend to be overanalytical and self-deprecating already, so unkind words can make me shut down. That said, I've heard enough that I also know how to move past them and do what I need to do.

What is your favorite curse word? 

See above.

Okay, what is your favorite use of a curse word in a movie? Is it the “Yippie ki yay…” line from “Die Hard”?

Hm….still going to have to pass.

What sound or noise do you love?

Wind in the trees, cheers at Nebraska football games, laughter of family, the noise of good china and good silverware clinking. Enthusiastic singing at Mass.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? 

Ooh...the thought of not teaching seems a little foreign, but I think that I would have liked to be a stay at home mom with lots of kids. I think I could have been a personal shopper.

What profession would you NOT like to attempt? 

I love cooking, but I know that I would not be able to handle the pressure of professional chefdom. I also do not want to be a motivational speaker.

Do you still buy those gigantic bulk bags of flour for all your Czech baking needs?

I did in Wichita (25 lb. bags from Hudson Mills), but I can’t find them yet in OKC. So far I've made three batches of cookies and two of breads for Christmas.

What was your favorite class at BC?

I still find Father Orr’s Christian Vocations class useful; I loved all my English classes and the crazy people I got to take them with; and again, any math class with Nathan was fun.

How do you feel about getting older, fellow thirty-something?

I find it hard to believe that I really am over thirty. I have to stop and realize that I’m 34 when someone asks my age. At the same time, gray hairs are starting to take over, and have since the transplant; my joints sometimes creak in the morning; in 4 years I will have a highschooler. I try to appreciate where I’m at and not look forward or backwards too much.