Better Know A Classmate: George

OK. There's still plenty of planning to be done -- please continue to place your opinions in the comments. Meanwhile, the interviews continue with George -- you might remember him as the tall fellow who wasn't named "Pat". I sat down with George (virtually) to discuss citizenship, the law, and women as tacos.

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You’ve had a lot of success, George. You were a 3 sport, Bo-Jacksonesque star at BC, as well as a member of the National Honor Society, and the winner of the prestigious Citizenship Award. You’ve thrived amongst D3 hoopsters. You’ve married a pretty Texan, you’ve graduated from a respected School of Law, you’ve got a nice job as an attorney. Where does being the namesake of a protagonist in Frank’s graphic novel, The Killers, rank among your achievements?

At the very top – for the sole reason that I had to exert no effort to achieve this honor – other than being born with an apparently very Nazi-sounding last name. I don’t even know if I’ve ever said two words to Frank T in my life. Talk about money for nothing – except I haven’t received any royalties as of yet. Maybe Frank and I should have some words.

You’re embellishing a little with the Bo Jackson comparison – or maybe you’re not giving me enough credit. After all Bo Jackson was only a two-sport star and he didn’t know Didley. Maybe a Danny Ainge reference would have been more appropriate.

And about the Citizenship award: (1) what is it? (2) did I really win it and if so, when? and (3) is it really prestigious?

I don't know what it is, dude. On page 134 of our senior yearbook, it lists the valedictorian and so forth, and it says, "Citizenship Award - George S, Brenda P". You're also mentioned as a "Scholastica / Athlete Award" winner. I take it these honors are not on your mantel?

Nice research! And no, I don't have them on my mantel. I think I'll just put my yearbook on my mantel and open it to page 134.

Our society has an interesting relationship with lawyers. On one hand, it’s a respected profession - it probably ranks just below “doctor” on the list of professions a mother would like to her son-in-law to have. However, it’s perfectly okay to joke about murdering an attorney, or to blame them for all of the problems in the world. How do you reconcile those differences? When someone tells a lawyer joke (What do you call 5,000 lawyers in the bottom of the ocean? A good start! Har har!), do you ever make a joke in retaliation (What do you call a secretary? A fat loser! Har har!)?

I think the anomaly you describe can best be explained by a phrase I’ve heard several times: "I hate all lawyers . . . except mine." I think this is a perception held by a lot of people. I understand it – I mean, if a lawyer is not on your side, he or she is against you. Lawyers don’t have independent agendas – only the interests of their clients. It kind of sucks, but if my clients are happy, then I’ve done my job.

I haven’t had to bust out any fat loser secretary jokes yet – but I’m going to write that one down just in case.

Your wife - who seems cool, by the way, and please send her my love - hails from San Antonio. Please compare and contrast her with another famous San Antonian. (I would suggest Tim Duncan, but feel free to choose a more appropriate individual. This Wikipedia list might be useful.)

First of all, your love has been sent and Alyson sends hers back. Apparently, she thinks you are “funny”. Unfortunately you and I now have to fight to the death at Brownthrush.

I would love to compare Alyson to a famous San Antonian, but remember: Tim Duncan is from the Virgin Islands, and thus, not a true San Antonian. So I’ll compare my wife to my favorite S.A. celeb, Henry the Puffy Taco. For those of you who don’t know, Henry is the beloved mascot for the S.A. Missions, a minor league baseball team. You can learn more about the crazy antics of Henry at:

seattlepi.nwsource.com/baseball/138032_doublea04.html

wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_the_Puffy_Taco

The similarities are abundant: A) Obviously, both hail from S.A. B) Both are connoisseurs of tex-mex cuisine. C) They both know how to satisfy a man . . . his appetite, that is. D) Both have a hard outer shell, but are filled with warm goodness on the inside.

There are differences as well: A) I would never refer to my wife as puffy. B) Alyson doesn’t enjoy lettuce on her tacos. C) Alyson only breaks out the green tights for special occasions. D) My wife has a human head.

According to Wikipedia, Henry graduated from Taco Tech University.

Phil said the best thing about living in Dallas was the weather. Do you care to offer your own views on the city? You’ve been living there since you left high school, after all.

Dallas is an interesting place. I’ve moved around a lot since I’ve been here, so I’ve gotten to experience a lot of this town. Dallas itself kind of sucks. The people are all so pretentious, trendy and generally stuck-up. It’s like living at Kapaun Mt. Carmel. The good thing is you will never run out of stuff to do. Between sports, music, shopping, restaurants and bars, Dallas has a lot of it all. You can never get bored here. It seems like the further you get from downtown, the nicer and more “Texan” the people become. The weather is kind of nice, too. But to be honest, I miss the weather in Kansas, especially in the fall.

You happened to be in Manhattan one weekend in 1998, and I saw you outside of the Aggieville Subway. I had just broken up with my first college girlfriend, feeling pretty blue, and you said, “Bigger and better things, huh?” I thought it was a pretty callous thing to say, but as time wore on, I accepted it as one of the finest pieces of wisdom anyone had ever dared to impart. But now -- now I think, “Maybe he was just being sarcastic.” Or maybe you were implying that I was going to, in fact, start dating larger girls. Do you remember giving that advice? Was “Bigger and better things” a mantra in your own life?

Honestly, I don’t remember it, but it totally sounds like something I would say, for several reasons: 1) it was a fairly meaningless line in an awkward situation, (2) I often (and especially at that point in my life) don’t appreciate the feelings of other people, and for that I apologize, (3) I’m an eternal optimist.

So to put your mind to rest, it was not a sarcastic comment. I’ve always tried to pull something positive from a bad situation. In that respect, I guess it has been a mantra in my life and a way for me to get through tough times. But just out of curiosity, did you try dating bigger girls?

I didn't just try, George -- I succeeded.

What is your favorite word?

Rendezvous

What is your least favorite word?

Valet (You might have to live in Dallas to truly despise this one)

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Manual labor. In my profession and especially in this city, I encounter a lot of people who find that it is beneath them to get their hands dirty. I like doing work around the house and breaking a sweat. It makes me feel as if I’ve actually accomplished something.

What turns you off?

I can’t stand the fact that so many people spend so much time following the lives of celebrities. The magazines, and the tv shows like “Extra” or whatever it’s called – I just don’t care and I don’t see why anybody else does. I don’t mind celebrities in general. Some I like and respect their work, others I think are no talent ass-clowns. But why the hell does anyone care about the personal lives of celebrities? Don’t get me wrong, if somebody is doing something noteworthy in their spare time, be it good or bad, that’s one thing. But magazines and shows that are dedicated purely to what someone was wearing or who they were seen with – I just don’t get it. Terms like “Brangelina,” “Tomkat,” and “K-Fed” make me want to puke.

Also, I have an intense hatred for almost all reality t.v., especially American Idol.

What is your favorite curse word?

“Douche-bag”

What sound or noise do you love?

After playing basketball for as many years as I did, the swish of the net is something that can give you goose bumps and is something that I crave from time to time.

What sound or noise do you hate?

The alarm clock

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Mariachi band singer.

What profession would you not like to do?

Class Reunion Organizer.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

That he dozed off for a few years when I was in college.

What have you been reading?

This wacky website where some douche-bag interviews all his old high school classmates.

What was your favorite class at BC?

Probably physics with Mr. Seiler. He was like Mr. Wizard. He was always genuinely excited about what he was doing. Plus, he was probably the nicest man I’ve ever met.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

I’ve been lucky in that I’ve gotten to know some of our classmates, who I didn’t really know in high school, after we graduated. I wish I would have gotten to know them a little better when we were in school.