"Picture This" or "Freeze Frame" or whatever

Here's what I did. I took all of the photos that were on my camera after the reunion and I put them here. I didn't remove redeye, I didn't delete the ones where people were blinking, I didn't name the files. I didn't do anything except post them online.

Here is an example of the many fine pictures.


They will be kept there for quite a while. I might move them eventually.

If anyone wants a copy of an original file, email me: DJN2210 [then put the @ symbol followed by yahoo followed by .com]

For those of you who also took pictures, please let us know where to find them.

Tips For A Successful Evening

1. Show up at 8. Don't amble in at midnight, because the bar closes then.

2. Bring a camera.

3. Absolutely NO KNIVES.

4. Casual dress.

Multimedia Madness!

In addition to some nice drink specials ($2.50 domestic draws and $3 Smirnoff flavored vodka -- I recommend ordering a vanilla Smirnoff with Coke), Oscar's will allow us to control bar's upstairs big screen TV and the audio system.

That means we need:

1.> Someone to bring the Project Graduation video.

2.> Someone to bring some highlight videos of football, etc. from our BC years.

3.> Any other appropriate, BC97-related videos.

And by "appropriate", I mean "no homemade sex tapes, please". EVEN IF the recording was made between Fall '93 and Spring '97. Ignoring the legality of a such a public screening, it's simply not appropriate.

4.> A sweet mix CD featuring popular music from our BC years.

I can bring the rock, but if anyone can help out on the rap and pop, it would be appreciated. If we leave Oscar's without hearing any Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, the reunion will be a failure.

Facebooklet

If you haven't received the following email text, it's because the myself, Michelle W/R, or the BCCHS Machine doesn't have your email address...

Since it is obviously impossible for everyone to attend the reunion, I am attempting to gather contact information, as well as personal info and even a couple of pictures from each alum. This will then be compiled into a PDF file and sent out to each classmate via email. Hopefully it will help people to catch up, and put long lost friends into contact again. I will only include information from those persons who provide it to me themselves or have given it to the alumni association.

Please take a look at the list of recipients of this email.....if you notice that someone is missing, please forward this to them so that they can participate as well.

Please provide the following information in a reply to this email:

Name (maiden and married, if applicable):
Address:
Phone:
Email:
Occupation:
Marital Status:
Children:
Highlights of the past decade:


You are also welcome to send a couple of recent photos of yourself and family to be included as well. I will plan to send out the information shortly after the reunion festivities. Hope to see you all there.

If you'd like to have your information included in this project, be sure to get it to Michelle W/R (michelleronsick [at] yahoo.com) soon. Or, I guess you could post your info in the comments. We take no responsibility for people making up stuff about their classmates and passing it on as fact. That stuff just happens. That hilarious, hilarious stuff just happens.

Comments on Comments

Regarding a few of the previous comments...

Anonymous said...
Out of consideration for those who will have to work the morning after the reunion, would it be possible to kick things off a little earlier on Friday? Say, 7pm or so?

I thought this sounded like a reasonable idea, but it came just a little late, as the Aquila published our start time of 8 p.m. I know I'll be there early, though, so if Anonymous wants to catch up with me while I hang the decorations*, that's cool.

Emily said...
I will have a 1 week old baby by the time of the reunion so I don't know if I'll be coming to a lot of the reunion activities.

You were given more than 9 months of notice for the reunion, and here you are, all pregnant and whatnot?! You need to get your priorities straight. For shame.**

Anonymous said...
this is the lamest high school reunion ever. dan, would you please NOT plan the 20 year one?

Maybe you'll change your tune after I tell you about my plans for 2017? We'll start out with a formal dance. Around midnight, we'll be loaded onto buses and taken to the Warren Theater, where we'll split into two groups. The "Comedy" group will catch a private screening of Sgt. Bilko, while the "Action" group will see Jean-Claude Van Damme in The Quest. Then, it's off to Old Town for more dancing and games and, like, some pancakes or something***.

Anonymous said...
Where exactly is Oscar's?

Oscar's is at 353 N. Mead, near the intersection of 3rd and Mead in Old Town.



*There will be no decorations.
**This is a joke.
***I can't really remember.

Saturday Events TBD

You'll note that there is now a schedule of confirmed reunion events in the right sidebar. Absent from said schedule are the pending events that have been discussed within the comments of various blog posts. I'm calling such events "To Be Determined" activities.

Everyone is welcome to expound on suggestions for a Saturday family event (or any other events) in the comments.

Deacon Days Are Here Again

Our man Adam was ordained as a deacon (deaconized?) a few weeks back. The journalistic juggernaut that is the Catholic Advance has all the details, including this photo:

The Rev. Mr. Adam Keiter receives the Book of the Gospels at his ordination Friday evening.

You know, I bet Adam already had one of those, but not one that nice.

Golf, Anyone?

BC 97's finest percussionist, Jason R, would like to gauge interest in a friendly golf game over the reunion weekend. (Weather permitting, obviously).

If 18 holes tickles your fancy, or if you'd like to reflect on Jason's drumming legacy, leave a note in the comments.

Location Location Location

UPDATE 4/14

I'd like to encourage those of you interested in a family-oriented event on Saturday, November 24, to consider Beth's suggestion. Please read & respond by clicking on the "comments" link below.

* * *

Looks like we'll be enjoying one another in Old Town, at Oscar's.

It's going to be super sweet!

Did you know what I did tonight? No, no -- I mean after dinner. That's right! I watched The American Experience, which detailed the bizarre, tragic story of The People's Temple. And, perhaps of more interest to you, I looked online for some other local reunion websites.

Heights
East High Blue Aces, Blue Aces
Southeast

It would seem that we all have an equally lame web presence.

You Have Options

Wow! Wasn't it nice to take a break? Wasn't it soooo nice? And wasn't 30 Rock sooo funny tonight? Can you believe that they made an MC Skat Kat joke? LOL, guys! Right? That was soooo LOL!

Okay.

So.

You might have noticed Michelle's comment about Players Sports Bar and/or Grill; reserving the establishment will require a deposit of $250. Further, our group will be obligated to spend an additional $800 on food and/or drinks. Further, they're adding gratuities to our checks, so there's no chance we can stiff the help.

So.

The thing is...

Does that sound kind of ridiculous to anyone else? I mean, like, it's Players, you know? Players is good and all, but is it worth being on the line for a thousand clams? Methinks Players doth protest charge too much.

So.

I called up an old pal from the Class of '98 (Losers! Am I right, folks? Those guys couldn't win a spirit stick if their lives depended on it! Am I right?!). His name rhymes with Mack Smuhkruckers. Anywho, he's down with Oscar's Sports Bar, which is the bar inside the downtown Warren Theater.

Smuhkruckers says that we can get a portion of that place reserved. (We'd be separated from the commoners by a classy velvet rope!) We can eat there. We can drink there.

Best of all, there would be no additional costs. No deposit. No $800 minimum.

So.

I'm asking.

Can we dump Players and move the party to Old Town?

This Still Exists

I took a break, but rest assured more magic will appear soon. Very soon.

As always, if you have something you'd like posted, or if you'd like to be interviewed, please send me an email.

Better Know A Classmate: Nathan V

Bored and snowed-in last Saturday night, I called Nathan. We talked for a good while, and shared some laughs. I asked if he wanted to do an interview. He declined, but said I could interview his dog, Frog.


I spent this week thinking about how I would interview Frog the dog. I constructed a rudimentary dog dialect for Frog by inserting canine-related onomatopoeia into the Queen's English. A typical interchange:

Frog, tell me what your master is up to these days.

Woof Nathan has been bark working more arf in the past few weeks growl since he completed ruff ruff grad school bark.

You have a hole in your skull. Tell me how that happened.

Arf it's a pretty funny story bark. I was bark bark barking at a bigger dog, howl and I thought I was safely out of his whimper range, bark because he was chained to a post grrrrr, right? I miscalculated, though, and woof he was able to reach me. Woof so all of the sudden he chomps down on arf arf my head, and I get kind of messed up howl. Boy, that hurt. But I'm okay now, ruff ruff ruff.

Then I decided that my dog interview was awful. Just terrible.

Still, I wanted to give some information about Nathan, as people ask me about him a lot. A LOT. It's kind of sickening, actually. "What's Nathan doing?" "How's Nathan?" "Nathan is so sweet and great!" "Nathan could have ended the war without the H-bomb!" "Once I saw Nathan having sex with my wife -- it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen!" On and on and on.

So, to curb this appetite, I offer the following facts...


The last CD he bought was probably in 1996. The Gin Blossoms.


He went to school in Fairbanks for several years. He graduated.


Despite the overwhelming odds against him, most notably the male-to-female ratio in Alaska and his face, he found a lady.


He lived in St. Petersburg for a while, for some reason.


He married the aforementioned lady, and adopted her aforementioned dog.


They honeymooned in Madagascar for months. They would not recommend such a trip to other newlyweds, especially if said newlyweds wish for a stress-free beginning to their lives together.

They moved to California.

They live in a million-dollar house.


But they rent it.


His pilot's license has expired.


He surfs, and occasionally saves other surfers from drowning.


He recently obtained a Master's degree, and has applied for a few positions or grants or fellowships or some such nonsense.


He bought his wife a hand-crafted, ceramic mug for Valentine's Day 2006.

His waffle-maker cooks heart-shaped waffles.

He is the only person I know who uses VOIP for his telephone service.


He sometimes puts cabbage on his sandwiches in place of lettuce.


He's going to be one of the people who has to explain his job with a paragraph instead of a sentence. Because you'll ask, and he'll reply, "International Conflict Resolution", and you'll stare blankly, and he'll sigh, and then begin to go into detail, and your eyes will glaze over, and you'll feel bad, because he's a friend, and you asked, after all, and you'll pledge to pay more attention, to no avail, and you'll decide to tell other people that he's "kind of like a diplomat", even though if he heard you say it, part of his soul would dissolve from discouragement.


He had successful laser surgery on his eyeballs.

He can pop a wheelie on his scooter; he fills its gas tank with airplane fuel.

The last time I saw him, he purchased a tiny, remote-controlled helicopter and flew it around our hotel room.


He is sweet and great.


He has assured me he will not come to the reunion.

Better Know A Classmate: Matt L

Our latest installment of Better Know a Classmate explores the mind of Matt L. (Having trouble remembering that last name? Here's a hint: it rhymes with "toots"!) If the Class of 1997 is The Beatles, Matt would be our George -- a quiet, introspective lead guitarist/sitarist. Who would later enjoy a moderately successful solo career. And die a few years back. Smoking kills.

Matt answered these questions during a bout of insomnia. I asked a few follow-up questions, but I haven't heard from him for many days now. Just like George Harrison.

* * * *

Hi Matt. You're the first nonmarried individual that I've interviewed. What are your feelings on marriage? Why aren't you married?

Well, to be quite honest, I find it rather antiquated. Plus, the statistics for a successful marriage are about fifty percent. Add to that the fact that I am extremely moody and it falls to about thirty. I also haven’t found anyone to put up with my shit. And Natalie Portman has not replied to any of my emails or marriage proposals.

You have lobbied for the class reunion to be "invitation only". Do you have any other suggestions for the event?

We should invite Natalie Portman.

Welcome at the reunion: spouses, Natalie Portman

You've been doing some traveling in the past few years. For example, you went to China, and wrote an email to us back home:

I have been in Shanghai for about two days now. There is a new Australian girl in my room. Not sure about her yet, she was sleeping. An old lady yelled at me when I came into the room at 7:30 PM and turned on the light. I guess I didn't think anyone who would pay a shitload of money to come to China would go to bed at fucking 7:30. But then again, she is old.

What has been the highlight of your travels? The low point?

The Great Wall was a highlight. I really enjoyed Budapest. The low point would have to be a young boy in Mongolia crawling out of a sewer and asking me for money. How do you say “no” to that?

The Great Wall of China: more enjoyable than sewer kids

Please describe an average workday in horrifically mundane detail.

Okay. I get to work. I shoot something. It is loud. I shoot it again. It is still loud. I answer a phone call. I type data into a computer. I print the report. That is followed by about 8-10 more hours of the same thing, over and over and over.

What have you been reading?

I just finished You Shall Know Our Velocity which you bought me. I love you. Now I am reading The Quiet American by Graham Greene.

What is your favorite word?

Aardvark

What is your least favorite word?

Evidently

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Creatively: a good book, pain.
Spiritually: Nothing.
Emotionally: A girl with glasses, you and The Shins.

What turns you off?

Meat with the bone on it, Oprah and beached whales covered in cats.

What is your favorite curse word?

FUCK!!! Hands down. Or any variation of the work “fuck”. Examples: Motherfucker (obviously), fuckface, assfuck etc.

What sound or noise do you love?

You, at the height of passion.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Gunshots.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Hmmm. Helicopter pilot.

What profession would you not like to do?

Mortician

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"What’s up, bitch?"

What was your favorite class at BC?

Morality.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

YES!! I would never have gone to confession if I had known what was going to happen. You know the story.

Better Know A Classmate: Stephanie N

I'm sure everyone is busy marking this National Day of Mourning with personal tributes to the late Gerald Ford -- reading his biography, remarking on his legacy, lighting candles for him, etc. -- but just in case you're looking to read material on someone other than the former Wolverine football great, here's another interview.

* * * *

Please describe an average workday in horrifically mundane detail.

I’m up by 6AM to get hubby out the door. By 6:30AM I’m ready for work. By 7AM all the kids’ eyes are open, but none of them are out of bed, yet. Rebecca (8) and Robert (6) get themselves dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed, etc. Jillian (4) needs help with socks and hair combed. Jesse (2) has help with everything. By 8AM, we’re all out the door. I take Jesse to daycare and the 3 older kids to Grandma’s. I head to work by 8:30AM. For the last month, I’ve been temping for a Retirement Service company. I do outbound calls to get the older generation’s medication lists to run comparisons from Medicare’s website to see if there are other Prescription Drug Plans that are better for the customer. I also log the customers information into databases. When I’m done with work (between 5 and 6PM), I usually head home to cook dinner, do laundry and dishes and get kids ready for bed.

How did you meet your husband?

We actually met in an AOL chat room! I don’t remember the exact topic, but he and I had the same smartass answers to things. We started IMing each other and hit it off. He was in the Sheriff’s Reserves at the time, and the day we met in person (September 3, 1999), he was in uniform. We only talked for a few minutes because he had to get to work, but when he left, I called my best friend (Melissa Lowery) and told her something special was going to happen with this guy. Little did I know, he was making the same phone call to his best friend, telling him the same thing. We dated for 9 days, and he proposed. We got married January 22, 2000. :)

Now, you all can do math and will notice that Becca is older than our marriage. She is from a previous relationship. Thomas adopted her on St Patricks Day, 2004.

One might argue that 9 days isn't long enough to determine if your new man is married, much less marriage material. Was there one thing -- an act, a sentence, anything -- that made you think, "Okay, this is my guy."? Was the St. Patrick's Day adoption a coincidence, or did you purposely plan the adoption for that day?

Several people did argue, but we just knew in our hearts we were meant to be. We just clicked.

We didn't choose St Patrick's Day. That's just how it fell on the judge's calendar.

St. Patrick's Day: Uniting families since 1903

You have 4 children - which child is your favorite?

I don’t have a favorite. All of my kiddos are unique and special in their own way, and I love them for it! Becca is my first, so we share a lot of things that the other kids and I don’t. We have the same demeanor sometimes and share the love of reading. She is in 3rd grade, but is reading on a 7th grade level. She is VERY smart and is at the top of her class academically, even though she is the next-to-youngest child in her class. She is authoritative and expects perfection from herself. She is a great kiddo! She was named after the song “Rebecca Lynn” by Bryan White.

Rob was my first child with my husband. He was very different from Becca. Where Becca was talking at 10 months, he didn’t speak his first word until after his 1st birthday. He’s a great little guy! He loves sports – especially soccer. He loves cars. His favorite right now is Mustangs (new body style). He wants to be an “Army guy” like his Uncle Michael and drive tanks. He loves anything Army – clothes, hats, toys, etc. Rob got his name from my father-in-law (Robert) and my husband (Thomas). He should’ve been named Tommy Jr!

Jill shares my birthday. We are 23 years and 18 minutes apart. We were both born by caesarean. She has curly hair like mine, except hers is blonde like her daddy’s. She loves Dora the Explorer and Barbie. Her favorite color is pink and she hates taking naps! She was named after all 4 aunts. Thomas has 2 sisters with, ironically, the same middle name – Renee. I have 2 sisters. Their middle names are Jill and Elizabeth. Our original plan was to name her Jillian Elizabeth Renee Koch. However, her initials would’ve been JERK and I wasn’t doing that to my baby girl! So, she was born Jillian Renee Elizabeth.

Jesse just turned 2 on December 2nd and is cute as cute can be!! He has naturally curly hair, too, but he just got his first professional haircut, and all the curls are gone. L However, when his hair starts growing, the curls will come back. Jesse got a rocking horse for Christmas. He absolutely adores his horse and will scream at anyone who tries to touch it! He likes Legos and cars and is a “me, too” kid. Anything the other kids do, he wants to do it to!

We also have 2 fur-babies. They are kittens and are Hammie & Zoey (Baby Blues comic strip). They are orange, long-fur tabbies.

What do Fraternal Orders of Eagles do?

The FOE is a non-profit organization and our motto is “People Helping People.” I’m Vice President of our Auxilliary #3251. We raise money for our selected charities by having bake sales, dinner and dances and other activities. If anyone went to the Veteran’s Day Parade, we were in the Parade this year. It’s a great organization to be a part of! I’ve met some wonderful people.

What's the deal with the cast of "The Real World: Denver"? I mean, who names their kid "Colie"?

I don’t have cable, so I don’t know what the deal is. I would love to live in Denver though, and I’ll make sure the next baby born in the family is named Colie.

The Real World: Denver -- quality cable programming.

Is George Clooney truly the world's sexiest man? And who is the world's sexiest woman?

Not in my book. I would have to say it’s a tie between James Caviezel (Frequency, Passion of the Christ) and Tyrese Gibson (Annapolis). James has the greatest eyes! They just suck you in! Tyrese has a ripped body. Can’t go wrong there! Sexiest woman – I don’t know. Halle Berry maybe?

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? (I would. I'd dip myself in spicy brown mustard.)

As long as I was smothered in onions and yellow mustard.

If you could fight anyone, alive or dead, who would you fight? (Note: you would be fighting a re-animated dead person, not the corpse of a dead person.)

Dammit. I wanted the corpse. LOL. I’m not sure I could pick just one person, and I’m not sure if I want to bring up my political views on this blog. I would probably say my ex. He was a real asshole.

What is your favorite word?

Mama – especially hearing it for the first time out of my babies’ mouths.

What is your least favorite word?

[Note: Stephanie's least favorite word makes many people -- especially those of the fairer sex -- angry and/or disgusted. You can probably guess what the word is, but if you'd like to be sure we're on the same page here, highlight the space below to reveal her selection.]



Cunt.



What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Seeing people overcoming obstacles in their life.

What turns you off?

People who expect a handout or who think that this country owes them something.

What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck. It can mean so many things, and some are quite great!

What sound or noise do you love?

My children’s laughter.

That response has been banned (see Pat's interview). Try again.

A zipper.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Someone vomiting.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I always wanted to be a lawyer.

What profession would you not like to do?

One Man Marching Band

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

You did a good job. Welcome Home.

What have you been reading?

Nicholas Sparks. He’s a wonderful author! I’m waiting on “Dear John” to come out in paperback. I also like reading autobiographies.

What was your favorite class at BC?

Probably study hall.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

Studied harder. Loosened up a little. (Alcohol IS my friend!)

Last Chance

If you'd like to shout down Players, your time is running out.

Interviews will resume in a matter of days.

Happy Holidays and all that.

Bread and Circuses

Players facts:

• The reservable room seats 50 people, with additional standing room.
• The room has its own bar/bartender.
• There is no cost to rent the room, IF our group drinks/eats $800 worth of stuff.
• If we fail to reach $800, we would owe 1/2 of the difference.

Now, you might be saying, "Hey, Dan - who do you think I am, Bill Freaking Pickett? What the hell are you talking about? What's with those crazy numbers? I mean, do I have to call up Mr. Demars to translate your jibber jabber?"

To that, I would say, "If our group only orders $600 worth of food and drink, we would owe Players half of $200, which equals $100. $100 is commonly referred to as a 'Benjamin' in the hip-hop community."


Further considerations:

• I don't love Players, but I like the idea of having the reunion at a public place. I believe the turnout will be higher at a well-known establishment. No one has shouted down Players. Yet.

• I like the fact we wouldn't have to set up or clean anything.

• Some may balk at the $800 caveat, but consider this: that's only 80 orders of chicken tenders. It's only 160 Jagerbombs. And if you wash down your chicken tenders with a Jagerbomb, the $800 goal will be reached pretty easily.

So there you have it. Please sound off in the comments.

Oh, and one more thing. Robert believes that the request for new 97kix drama was justified, so here goes:

Hey Rob! How's the Virginia suburbs? Why don't you grow a pair and move into the big city? Are you too scared? Are you scared of the big bad District of Columbia? Waaah! Waaah! I'm Robert, and I'm afraid to walk down to Ben's Chili Bowl, because I'm white and I'm a racist and my wife keeps my balls in her purse!

Better Know A Classmate: George

OK. There's still plenty of planning to be done -- please continue to place your opinions in the comments. Meanwhile, the interviews continue with George -- you might remember him as the tall fellow who wasn't named "Pat". I sat down with George (virtually) to discuss citizenship, the law, and women as tacos.

* * *

You’ve had a lot of success, George. You were a 3 sport, Bo-Jacksonesque star at BC, as well as a member of the National Honor Society, and the winner of the prestigious Citizenship Award. You’ve thrived amongst D3 hoopsters. You’ve married a pretty Texan, you’ve graduated from a respected School of Law, you’ve got a nice job as an attorney. Where does being the namesake of a protagonist in Frank’s graphic novel, The Killers, rank among your achievements?

At the very top – for the sole reason that I had to exert no effort to achieve this honor – other than being born with an apparently very Nazi-sounding last name. I don’t even know if I’ve ever said two words to Frank T in my life. Talk about money for nothing – except I haven’t received any royalties as of yet. Maybe Frank and I should have some words.

You’re embellishing a little with the Bo Jackson comparison – or maybe you’re not giving me enough credit. After all Bo Jackson was only a two-sport star and he didn’t know Didley. Maybe a Danny Ainge reference would have been more appropriate.

And about the Citizenship award: (1) what is it? (2) did I really win it and if so, when? and (3) is it really prestigious?

I don't know what it is, dude. On page 134 of our senior yearbook, it lists the valedictorian and so forth, and it says, "Citizenship Award - George S, Brenda P". You're also mentioned as a "Scholastica / Athlete Award" winner. I take it these honors are not on your mantel?

Nice research! And no, I don't have them on my mantel. I think I'll just put my yearbook on my mantel and open it to page 134.

Our society has an interesting relationship with lawyers. On one hand, it’s a respected profession - it probably ranks just below “doctor” on the list of professions a mother would like to her son-in-law to have. However, it’s perfectly okay to joke about murdering an attorney, or to blame them for all of the problems in the world. How do you reconcile those differences? When someone tells a lawyer joke (What do you call 5,000 lawyers in the bottom of the ocean? A good start! Har har!), do you ever make a joke in retaliation (What do you call a secretary? A fat loser! Har har!)?

I think the anomaly you describe can best be explained by a phrase I’ve heard several times: "I hate all lawyers . . . except mine." I think this is a perception held by a lot of people. I understand it – I mean, if a lawyer is not on your side, he or she is against you. Lawyers don’t have independent agendas – only the interests of their clients. It kind of sucks, but if my clients are happy, then I’ve done my job.

I haven’t had to bust out any fat loser secretary jokes yet – but I’m going to write that one down just in case.

Your wife - who seems cool, by the way, and please send her my love - hails from San Antonio. Please compare and contrast her with another famous San Antonian. (I would suggest Tim Duncan, but feel free to choose a more appropriate individual. This Wikipedia list might be useful.)

First of all, your love has been sent and Alyson sends hers back. Apparently, she thinks you are “funny”. Unfortunately you and I now have to fight to the death at Brownthrush.

I would love to compare Alyson to a famous San Antonian, but remember: Tim Duncan is from the Virgin Islands, and thus, not a true San Antonian. So I’ll compare my wife to my favorite S.A. celeb, Henry the Puffy Taco. For those of you who don’t know, Henry is the beloved mascot for the S.A. Missions, a minor league baseball team. You can learn more about the crazy antics of Henry at:

seattlepi.nwsource.com/baseball/138032_doublea04.html

wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_the_Puffy_Taco

The similarities are abundant: A) Obviously, both hail from S.A. B) Both are connoisseurs of tex-mex cuisine. C) They both know how to satisfy a man . . . his appetite, that is. D) Both have a hard outer shell, but are filled with warm goodness on the inside.

There are differences as well: A) I would never refer to my wife as puffy. B) Alyson doesn’t enjoy lettuce on her tacos. C) Alyson only breaks out the green tights for special occasions. D) My wife has a human head.

According to Wikipedia, Henry graduated from Taco Tech University.

Phil said the best thing about living in Dallas was the weather. Do you care to offer your own views on the city? You’ve been living there since you left high school, after all.

Dallas is an interesting place. I’ve moved around a lot since I’ve been here, so I’ve gotten to experience a lot of this town. Dallas itself kind of sucks. The people are all so pretentious, trendy and generally stuck-up. It’s like living at Kapaun Mt. Carmel. The good thing is you will never run out of stuff to do. Between sports, music, shopping, restaurants and bars, Dallas has a lot of it all. You can never get bored here. It seems like the further you get from downtown, the nicer and more “Texan” the people become. The weather is kind of nice, too. But to be honest, I miss the weather in Kansas, especially in the fall.

You happened to be in Manhattan one weekend in 1998, and I saw you outside of the Aggieville Subway. I had just broken up with my first college girlfriend, feeling pretty blue, and you said, “Bigger and better things, huh?” I thought it was a pretty callous thing to say, but as time wore on, I accepted it as one of the finest pieces of wisdom anyone had ever dared to impart. But now -- now I think, “Maybe he was just being sarcastic.” Or maybe you were implying that I was going to, in fact, start dating larger girls. Do you remember giving that advice? Was “Bigger and better things” a mantra in your own life?

Honestly, I don’t remember it, but it totally sounds like something I would say, for several reasons: 1) it was a fairly meaningless line in an awkward situation, (2) I often (and especially at that point in my life) don’t appreciate the feelings of other people, and for that I apologize, (3) I’m an eternal optimist.

So to put your mind to rest, it was not a sarcastic comment. I’ve always tried to pull something positive from a bad situation. In that respect, I guess it has been a mantra in my life and a way for me to get through tough times. But just out of curiosity, did you try dating bigger girls?

I didn't just try, George -- I succeeded.

What is your favorite word?

Rendezvous

What is your least favorite word?

Valet (You might have to live in Dallas to truly despise this one)

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Manual labor. In my profession and especially in this city, I encounter a lot of people who find that it is beneath them to get their hands dirty. I like doing work around the house and breaking a sweat. It makes me feel as if I’ve actually accomplished something.

What turns you off?

I can’t stand the fact that so many people spend so much time following the lives of celebrities. The magazines, and the tv shows like “Extra” or whatever it’s called – I just don’t care and I don’t see why anybody else does. I don’t mind celebrities in general. Some I like and respect their work, others I think are no talent ass-clowns. But why the hell does anyone care about the personal lives of celebrities? Don’t get me wrong, if somebody is doing something noteworthy in their spare time, be it good or bad, that’s one thing. But magazines and shows that are dedicated purely to what someone was wearing or who they were seen with – I just don’t get it. Terms like “Brangelina,” “Tomkat,” and “K-Fed” make me want to puke.

Also, I have an intense hatred for almost all reality t.v., especially American Idol.

What is your favorite curse word?

“Douche-bag”

What sound or noise do you love?

After playing basketball for as many years as I did, the swish of the net is something that can give you goose bumps and is something that I crave from time to time.

What sound or noise do you hate?

The alarm clock

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Mariachi band singer.

What profession would you not like to do?

Class Reunion Organizer.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

That he dozed off for a few years when I was in college.

What have you been reading?

This wacky website where some douche-bag interviews all his old high school classmates.

What was your favorite class at BC?

Probably physics with Mr. Seiler. He was like Mr. Wizard. He was always genuinely excited about what he was doing. Plus, he was probably the nicest man I’ve ever met.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

I’ve been lucky in that I’ve gotten to know some of our classmates, who I didn’t really know in high school, after we graduated. I wish I would have gotten to know them a little better when we were in school.

Reunion Weekend

Millie's meeting produced a bit of an agenda:

Friday night: "The Reunion"

--location still to be determined
--at a church hall or a bar, if there's a bar large enough to hold us
--state your preference in the comments
--please be specific

Saturday morning-afternoon: "Family Time"

--location and event to be determined
--input needed
--form a committee in the comments

Saturday afternoon: "Tour B.C."

--Mrs. Gomez will lead a tour around 3 p.m.

Saturday evening: "Mass"

--at St. Francis, or
--at Schulte, where Fr. Orr is currrently stationed

Saturday night: "To Be Determined"

--Dinner? A night out on the town? Something formal?
--form a committee in the comments

Milliecopia

We're about one year away from the reunion, and we're about one week away from a friendly gathering hosted by Millie.

Black Friday, November 24, Millie will be opening her home to those readers that would like to share in baked goods and fellowship. If you can tear yourself away from the great sales going on at Radio Shack, please stop by and say hello.

A few details:

It's November 24, the day after Thanksgiving.

It will begin at approximately 1 p.m. and end around 3 p.m.

It will be held at Millie's compound, located across the street from St. Francis; look for the house with the decorated mailbox, or email Millie for directions.

Suggestions for the reunion will be discussed.

Treats will be served.

If a man answers the door, call him "Chuck".

If you're thinking, "I'd go, but I don't want to see Dan, because he's a world-class retard," fear not! I will only be there for the first few minutes -- I'm going to stuff a few cookies in my craw and dash out of there. Millie will keep me posted on what was discussed, minus the choice swear words, and the meeting minutes will be posted here at 97kix.

Questions about the event should be placed in the comments, as should your list of food allergies.

Better Know A Classmate: Nick T

This week's interview features Nick, who is the first person I have interviewed that has both 1.> been inside my current home, and 2.> not broken one of the windows of my current home with a rock because he locked himself out and it was freezing cold and there was no one around to unlock the door. (Thanks again, Phil!)

And remember, I don't only interview people whose furniture I've moved up several flights of stairs (Thanks again, Nick!). If you'd like to be featured on a website that's already garnered several complaints, send me an email or leave a note in the comments.

Our team is what?
Dynamite!
Our team is what?
Dynamite!
Our team is Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick
BOOM!
Dynamite!

* * *

Elena is your wife. Previously, she was not your wife, and she was in California, and you were not. What is your advice for successfully managing a long-distance relationship?

There are two schools of thought: 1) Absence makes the heart grow fonder, 2) Out of sight…out of mind. I suggest subscribing to the former.

In his interview, Frank ranked his Asian-ness a 7. On a scale of 1-10, how Hispanic are you? What about Elena? Please qualify your rankings.

Great question. There are few questions such as this that truly reach to the core of an individual. I often wonder precisely how “Hispanic” I am. You will be delighted to know, as I am, that I am now able to empirically answer this question. Based on the U.S. 2000 Census, there are seven Hispanic types of statistical significance. These are Mexicans, Puerto Rican, Central American, South American, Cuban, Dominican, and Spanish. Seven types. I am one: Mexican. Subsequently, I can say, with 100% certainty, that I am 14.28% Hispanic. Therefore, keeping the same ratio constant, on a scale of 1-10, I am a 1.4.

Elena is half-Mexican. Therefore she is .7 on a scale of 1-10.

I appreciate your precision. Circa 2004, I served you your first taste of summer sausage. Why were you so late in trying summer sausage, and how has your life changed since that fateful night?

In response to the first part of your question, I would pose my own question: Why is anyone ever so early in eating summer sausage? Has it been the “cool” sausage for years? When is the last time you had chorizo? What has taken you so long?

In response to the latter part of your question; Yes, it has changed my life. I now have an experience in common with rural America. I feel like the common-man.

Nick, you're not being fair. You know for a fact that I eat chorizo every morning with my huevos rancheros. You played tennis in your high school days, and I believe you have called BC's new courts, "The House that Tejeda Built". Does is sting to see the fancy new courts, knowing that you played your matches in what was essentially an occassionally dry pond, fit for nothing more than a Christmas tree fundraiser?

It does not sting to see the fancy new courts as much as it stings to be physically locked out of them. Seriously, do they need to be locked down like friggin’ Fort Knox? Oooo, I might try to wear black-soled tennis shoes on the court. That is the way I roll.

Please describe your previous occupation in horrifically mundane detail; also, please tell us about the classes you are currently taking.

In short, I served in a consultative and business development role for clients in a 22-state area for a healthcare technology company. Sorry, you get no more detail than that. I refuse to believe anyone gives a damn.

Currently, I am wrapping up my graduate degree in Health Administration (MHA) at KU Med. Theoretically, this prepares me to run a hospital. Current classes include strategic marketing, managed care reimbursement, quality improvement, health and social behavior, and policy. Under-water basket weaving was full.

Nick sports his facepaint at Browntrush Park, pre-tailgate party,
prior to a 1996 BC/KMC hoops game. I think.

What is your favorite word?

Leverage.

What is your least favorite word?

Whatever.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

People who try.

What turns you off?

People who won’t try.

What is your favorite curse word?

The f-bomb.

What sound or noise do you love?

Tires on gravel.

What sound or noise do you hate?

People chewing on crunchy food. I want to beat my television every time one of those cereal commercials comes one that brags about how freaking obnoxiously loud they sound when eaten.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Epidemiologist for the state of Kansas.

What profession would you not like to do?

Epidemiologist for any sub-Saharan nation.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“I practice Affirmative Action.”

What was your favorite class at BC?

Study hall after Father Orr’s class.

Is there anything you would have done differently in your time at BC?

Actually, honestly wouldn’t change anything. Except for the way I approached my studies. Probably would have chosen entirely different friends. Might have gone with a different family. Otherwise, I’m good.